Friday, February 11, 2011

Children in restaurants

Nothing spoils a good meal out with friends or a loved one like a noisy brat at the other table. Whether they're crying, running around, making a mess, or being ugly, they're a quick way to lose your appetite in a hurry. I fully intend to adopt the noisiest children possible, or perhaps borrow them from friends when they aren't looking, and proceed to order them the sloppiest meal imaginable, then ignore their pleas for attention. Hey, that's pissing off the kids, too! It's like killing two birds with one stone, one of them being an infant bird.
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13 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 2:25 AM

    You are ice cold individual. I'll let you watch my future kids, just make sure to bring them back when you're done. lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Disser2February 11, 2011 at 2:55 AM

    children are also humans!

    ReplyDelete
  3. BrockFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:49 AM

    I completely understand where you're coming from, if you're at a restaurant where the waiters are wearing suits. But if you're going to McD's then expect a handful of annoying shit disturbers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:52 AM

    i always just leave when i hear a kid crying, no matter what im doing

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mike YangFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:50 AM

    There's a pretty elegant solution to this problem. I refer you to Swift.

    :)

    twitter.com/#!/mikeyang52377

    ReplyDelete
  6. FrostyFebruary 11, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    Everybody in the restaurant will hate you

    ReplyDelete
  7. tgquagmireFebruary 11, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    thanks for checkin out my vids =] i always love watching the commericals =]

    ReplyDelete
  8. !sense!February 11, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    I hate crying babies. if that makes sense

    ReplyDelete
  9. Das Auto!February 11, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    this is why i usually eat at the bar

    ReplyDelete
  10. Raw NewsFebruary 12, 2011 at 1:29 AM

    that's the reason I always go out to eat super late at the 24 hour restaurants.

    no loud screaming kids at 3am

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mr. MachineFebruary 12, 2011 at 3:28 AM

    I love these posts, although I'd probably punch you in the face if I ever met you :P

    ReplyDelete
  12. HydraxFebruary 13, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    The irony is that if you ignore the kids long enough they'll probably stop screaming and calm down. Most of the worst ones just do it for attention.

    ReplyDelete
  13. xazbaschbossFebruary 13, 2011 at 11:15 PM

    Or on airplanes. Or on the bus. Or on the train. I hate kids.

    ReplyDelete

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