Dane Cook is not funny

I know this is said a lot, but fuck

Dane Cook is certifiably awful and anybody who likes him has poor taste in comedy.

American holidays and food

Has anybody ever noticed the American obsession with food? No wonder we're all obese. Let's take a look at the one thing everybody does, and it's supposed to be bringing us together: holidays.

• Valentine's Day. Celebration of love. Find your significant other and cram chocolate and candy down their throat.
• Easter. Used to be about Christ, now about more chocolate and candy.
• Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for friends, family, and this twenty pound bird we're all going to split.
• Fourth of July. Nothing says "independance from the British" like a giant barbeque.
• Let's not forget the old classic - no birthday has ever been successful without a giant sugary cake.
• Christmas. You'd think the big C would be about gifts and togetherness, but of course, candy canes, gingerbread houses, cookies, and sweets make their appearance. Just wouldn't be Christmas without them, now would it?

If America wants to raise awareness of a now obvious national epidemic, it needs to look a little closer to home.

What's next, Martin Luther King Day celebrated with pie-eating contests?

Using checks in the supermarket

So I was in line behind this sweet old grandma today in the checkout line, and it was bad enough that she had a thousand people behind her, but then she busts out this old gem:

People still use checkbooks? At the grocery store? Really? Her purchase was like twenty dollars, has nobody told her about check cards? That seems cruel.

Now this alone would only have been mildly annoying yet tolerable, but she had to:

• Get out her purse
• Remove her checkbook
• Open it
• Get a pen
• Flip to a blank check
• Begin writing it
• Double-check the amount
• Sign and complete
• Tear it out
• Have it processed by the cashier who clearly had never seen a check before in her life

Are you kidding me? 

Okay, I understand, you're an old woman, you live alone, nobody helps you, life is hard. But can you really not make out a check with a blank amount signed to the store before you leave the house? You have to spend two minutes holding up ten other people?

Old age is no excuse for inconsideration.

Larry King 25 years in the business

Congrats to LK for 25 years in show business!

Ramen

The greatest invention on god's green earth

This stuff goes with everything. $0.20 a bag, my god how do they do it? I don't even care what's inside, whatever sub-food matter they're passing off as edible. It's delicious, cheap, and delicious.

Amen.

Druglord uses religion to gain followers

Just read about this on CNN, apparently this dead drug lord, Nazario Moreno Gonzalez, was considered a spiritual leader and convinced all the members of his huge cartel to participate in violence and drug dealing under the notion that their actions were divine and the will of the allmighty.

Just another example of how religion can be used to twist the public opinion in literally any way imaginable. Some weak-willed people did some very horrible things thinking they were doing God's work. It's frightening.

Wikileaks

So there's this new website called WikiLeaks run by an organization called Sunshine Press that's leaking important sensitive documents previously kept top-secret by their respective governments. News outlets are in an uproar about the materials provided.

Is this really a good idea?

Some things are kept out of the public eye for a reason. They could be misinterpreted, exaggerated, or outright lies, casting whichever government into an undeserved poor light.

The simple fact of the matter is; people assume their government is hiding all these things they somehow have the right to know, but that's not what elected officials are for.

You like your new car?

Your cushy job?

Your piping hot internet porn?

Someone's doing something right, and finding out that someone is suffering for it isn't going to make you burn all your worldly possessions and embrace a life of priesthood any sooner.

Get over it.

The high cost of eating healthy

Recently I've tried to become more aware of what I put in my body.

I mean, nobody's supposed to be eating fast food at all, let alone as often as some of us do. There are much healthier things available to us.

The problem is, these things are much more expensive than their McCounterparts. For a dollar, a freaking DOLLAR, I can get a good sized cheeseburger or chicken sandwich or any of a dozen things at my local fast food joint, whereas I'll easily spend 5-7 dollars eating more healthily. What sort of tricks do you guys use?